The Shocking Truth

If 5 years ago I knew that God would be telling me what He is telling me now, I would have been in denial. I might be ignoring Him right now for a brief period. And somehow, I did know all along that this was coming. I did not want to face the truth: how my plan or idea for my life wasn't going to work since two things I wanted most were conflicting one another. I have always wanted to be teacher (probably only because I was a bossy child since I am the older child, I am rather organized when it comes to school, and I just simply love learning) but I have always wanted to do overseas work that doesn't involve teaching (but may involve either some sort of community outreach or business). So, since I desire more to do outreach overseas than teaching (and also my “passion” for teaching has dissolved, which now I realize was never actually a passion at all), now I am stuck with the daily battle (yes, daily, it’s awful) of how to get there (what do I major in, does my school offer that program, what organizations should I be connecting with, should I start learning a language now, what language would that be, do I find “the one” here or there, I know what area I want to live in but which country exactly do You want me to eventually live in Lord). Thankfully, this entire dilemma requires me to lean on the Lord for strength and answers, to pursue Him more, to trust that He has a specific plan for me and that it is way beyond my wildest dreams (it is always an exciting adventure with the Lord!), to try my hardest to worry less, to become more bold and less timid, and this dilemma requires me to have peace in the midst of this short season of drought until He finally reveals to me my next big step (which I anticipate to be what I should major in). One last note on teaching: I do have a bit of an interest in teaching English overseas, but I believe that is the closest I would come to a teacher career because, again, teaching is not my passion.

For some people, it is hard switching majors in college because they do not know what you want to do in life, especially at this age. It is so strange living your life for so many years thinking you know what you want to be, but then you grow up and live a little and think outside of the box. It is especially hard because throughout high school I did not have an open mind to exploring other classes such as accounting, psychology, and marketing that could have helped me see what other careers are out there because since I have always only looked at education, I feel I have no idea what else I could do and what certain careers entail. Nonetheless, I am so glad I am starting to look at what else is out there because honestly, I feel free (and it wasn't until about 8 months ago that I felt imprisoned by something I thought I wanted). I do not regret not realizing all of this sooner because my school’s education program is what led me to that school, and this school has helped me in so many ways besides academically. I am starting to realize my dreams and am going after them, and I encourage you to do the same. And it is okay for your dreams to change because that is essentially what happened to me.