If
5 years ago I knew that God would be telling me what He is telling me now, I
would have been in denial. I might be ignoring Him right now for a brief
period. And somehow, I did know all along that this was coming. I did not want
to face the truth: how my plan or idea for my life wasn't going to work since
two things I wanted most were conflicting one another. I have always wanted to
be teacher (probably only because I was a bossy child since I am the older
child, I am rather organized when it comes to school, and I just simply love
learning) but I have always wanted to do overseas work that doesn't involve
teaching (but may involve either some sort of community outreach or business). So,
since I desire more to do outreach overseas than teaching (and also my “passion”
for teaching has dissolved, which now I realize was never actually a passion at
all), now I am stuck with the daily battle (yes, daily, it’s awful) of how to
get there (what do I major in, does my school offer that program, what
organizations should I be connecting with, should I start learning a language
now, what language would that be, do I find “the one” here or there, I know
what area I want to live in but which country exactly do You want me to
eventually live in Lord). Thankfully, this entire dilemma requires me to lean
on the Lord for strength and answers, to pursue Him more, to trust that He has
a specific plan for me and that it is way beyond my wildest dreams (it is
always an exciting adventure with the Lord!), to try my hardest to worry less,
to become more bold and less timid, and this dilemma requires me to have peace
in the midst of this short season of drought until He finally reveals to me my
next big step (which I anticipate to be what I should major in). One last note
on teaching: I do have a bit of an interest in teaching English overseas, but I
believe that is the closest I would come to a teacher career because, again, teaching
is not my passion.
For
some people, it is hard switching majors in college because they do not know
what you want to do in life, especially at this age. It is so strange living
your life for so many years thinking you know what you want to be, but then you
grow up and live a little and think outside of the box. It is especially hard
because throughout high school I did not have an open mind to exploring other
classes such as accounting, psychology, and marketing that could have helped me
see what other careers are out there because since I have always only looked at
education, I feel I have no idea what else I could do and what certain careers
entail. Nonetheless, I am so glad I am starting to look at what else is out
there because honestly, I feel free (and it wasn't until about 8 months ago
that I felt imprisoned by something I thought I wanted). I do not regret not
realizing all of this sooner because my school’s education program is what led
me to that school, and this school has helped me in so many ways besides
academically. I am starting to realize my dreams and am going after them, and I encourage you to do the same. And it is okay for your dreams to change because that is essentially what happened to me.